Loners in a bar
by Harugura
Summary: China finds Russia sitting alone in a bar. Russia has seemed depressed lately and that worries China... Will he be able to help or is it a lost cause?
1. Chapter 1

''_I´m tired of it. I´m tired of this sicken feeling, loneliness…_"

This sentence circles in my mind, mockingly. I lazily bury my face into my folded arms. `_The vodka must be sinking in now.´ _I smile to myself. It must be because if I was sober, I wouldn´t be drowning in self-pity right now. I know better than to do something so pointless. But vodka shows people´s true colours, their true emotions. Luckily, no one is here to witness my moment of what I can only call pure stupidity…

I found him at a bar after the meeting, drowning himself in vodka. His head is down on the bar counter, face buried in his coat sleeves. I stare at him for a moment before taking a seat next to him at the bar. He lifts his head, looking over to me, ''China? What are you doing here?''

''To get a drink just like you aru.'' I replied. "Bartender, one gin please." Russia smiled slightly, resting his head on his hand.

"Huh. You don't really strike me as a person who drinks frequently."

"Yes well, after a dreadful meeting like that, a man could use a drink aru." I say bringing the glass to my lips. He replies with a quiet, "yes, that's true…" I glance over at him to see why he suddenly fell silent. His violet eyes are fixed on his cup and are glazed over from the vodka he drank. He has a pleasant smile plastered on his face, as if he's thinking of a happy distant memory. He looks happy but he's not… He's far from such an emotion, I can tell. He's been like this for quite a while. Since the Baltics left him? No, it's been longer than that…

"China?"

Russia's voice frees me from my thoughts. "Y-Yeah? What is it aru?"

He blinks "…Nothing, you just seem a bit preoccupied…"

"I'm fine, really. Wh-What about you aru?" I stutter out.

"Huh? Me? Why do you ask?"

"Well uh…you seemed a bit troubled at the meeting aru…" I said quietly, averting my gaze.

"Oh…" he mouths, looking down into his glass "Have I?"

I hesitantly look back at him with a stern look "Yes, you have aru. What's been on your mind aru?"

He looks at me with a forced smile on his face "Nothing~ I just have some things to think about."

"…You're lying aru."

His eyes widen as he looks at me, slightly shocked. "W-What…?"

I sigh and look him in his eyes "You're lying to me aru… Why won't you tell me the truth aru?" He stares back for a few seconds then turns away.

"Ha ha, I think you're had a bit too much to drink, China!" he grins playfully.

I smile back "Hm. Maybe I have aru. Alcohol can really make your tongue slip, huh?"

He nods and looks up at the ceiling, "That it can. It can also make you think things you would never think when you're sober."

I take another slow sip of my drink, "…Like what kind of things aru?"

He leans on his hand, "Like good memories, bad memories… Memories you much rather forget…" He smiles softly, tilting his head, "Things such as that…"

I look at him with concern written on my face, "…Is that what you think about?"

He keeps his gaze low, fixed on his drink. "Hm. Perhaps it is…", he mutters quietly before taking another sip.


	2. Chapter 2

The time passes gradually as we sit, chatting at the bar. Talking about small things like the World meetings, business, and our bosses. After his slight slip of tongue earlier, he didn't dare bring up any other topic beside these trivial matters. And I didn't want to push him to say anything he didn't start himself.

_You will tell me eventually, won't you Russia…?_

He continues to blabber on about his boss being difficult, making him sign a bunch of papers the other day. _We must look like a couple of men that just got off work, whining about our "dickhead boss", g_oes through my mind for a second before glancing at my watch.

"Aiyah! It's almost one in the morning already aru?" I exclaim, quickly putting my coat on. I turn to Russia, watching him rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"Alright, Russia, it's time to go aru." I say standing up from my seat, clapping my hands.

"Eh…?" He looks up at me, slightly tipsy. "Where are we going?"

"You're going home to sleep off those ten bottles of vodka you drank aru. The bartender probably wants to close now anyways aru." I reply sounding like I'm lecturing a 4-year-old to take a nap.

He slowly looks around the bar, seeing that the few people that were in here before had already left.

"…Okay." He says, standing up and slightly swaying because of the vodka. We thanked the bartender and left into the empty streets. He could keep his balance quite well considering how much he drank, I was a bit impressed. But I guess it's years of practice at work, no?

The sound of our footsteps and humming of the streetlights overhead are the only things I hear at this point. Other than the passing comments we shared from time to time, it was dead silent. I glance over to Russia; he's slightly swaying in the night air and humming a soft tune.

"…Russia?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to be okay going home aru?"

He smiles, gently patting my head, "I'm used to going home alone, and I'm fine."

I can feel the heat coming to my cheeks, "B-But it's kind of late and I-!"

He shrugs, nonchalantly "It's not like this isn't a normal thing for me…"

I stop for a second and my eyes widen, realizing something that I had overlooked before. _He's alone…_ He's alone in that big house. I knew the Baltics were gone, we all did, but I never really thought if there was anyone else.

_So he's going home alone…again. I'm just going to left him leave…?_

I stop him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly. He looks down at me, somewhat surprised by my sudden actions. I quickly return his gaze, staring back sternly.

"You're not going home alone; you're staying at my house aru." I command, determination clear in my eyes. He blinks, slightly confused, "…what?"

"You heard what I said, now let's go aru!" His hand in mine, I drag him to my house. He was a bit hesitant at first and after a while, he eased up. Instead of being dragged, he started walking next me. Underneath the low humming of the streetlights, we walked hand in hand. Words weren't needed to be shared; our footsteps are the only sound filling the night air.


	3. Chapter 3

After a long walk, we get to China's house. During that walk, he didn't let go of my hand, not once. He held it with that same secure grip as you would hold a child, something precious. That was nice to feel to feel that…even if it's not true.

He lets go of my hand, opening the door and shuffling to find the light switch. I can feel a smile tug at the corner of my lips, watching him getting somewhat flustered while doing it. It's nice having someone there, some company… Suddenly the lights flick on and I hear a sigh escape China's lips.

He grasps my gloved hand and gives me a light smile, "Alright, come with me aru." He leads me up a flight of stairs into his bedroom. It's a medium sized room with a wooden dresser, large bed and a small table with a chair in the corner. He gingerly leads me over and sits me down on the edge of his bed.

"Wait here; I'll be right back aru."

I let out a quiet "okay…" when he turns and walks into a smaller room which I assume is the bathroom. After several minutes, he returns with a small tub of water and a washcloth hanging off the side. He sets it on the floor at my side and looks up, dipping in the cloth into the water then ringing out its contents, "Take off your shirt."

Doing as I'm told, I start unbuttoning my winter coat. After shedding the last layer of clothing, China rises from his knees and gently presses the damp cloth to my forehead. _It feels warm_… I think, closing my eyes at the pleasant sensation. He glides the cloth across my face and down my neck, towards my torso. I hear him dipping the cloth back into the water and ringing it out again. The floor softly creaks as I feel him shift his weight. "Russia?"

I open my eyes to see him, kneeling down on one knee behind my legs. His golden brown eyes locked on mine, he raises his hand to cup my cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah… I'm fine, thank you." I reply, trying to disguise the nervousness in my voice.

He looks up at me, smiling, says in almost above a whisper, "I'm glad."

It was beautiful… His smile was soft and simple but it was something amazing for me. That made me feel…warm. Ah, that's something I haven't felt in a while…

He ghosts his fingertips over my cheek and I feel a chill run down my spine. His touches seem so soft and loving. He…has never done this before.

"Now that you're cleaned, let's get you something to wear aru." He says, rising to his feet then walking to the dresser.

"China… Why are you taking care of me like you would a child…?"

"I-I'm not treating you like a child aru! Here, put this on." He grumbles, throwing some clothes at my face and leaving back into the bathroom. _Hmm, what a cute reaction._ I giggle to myself.

'_Treating him like a child, huh?' Am I really…? _I sigh, leaning with each hand on each side of the sink. I just want to…do something for him. But what could I do? I took him to my house before even thinking about it. So what now, let him crash for tonight and then that's it? No… I have to think of something… I hear him shuffling outside of the door, putting on the clothes I gave him to wear. _I hope they fit well._ The shuffling I heard before has died down so I peek out of the door to see if he's finished.

He's patiently sitting on my bed, wearing the white shirt and grey jogging pants I gave him. Relieved that they seemed to fit, I open the door and fully walk into the room.

"Do they fit okay aru?" I ask, walking around the bed to the other side.

"Da, they're fine." I feel his eyes follow me as I go. I lift up the sheets, fold it back and sit down.

"Come and lie down." I reply, patting the spot I uncovered. I watch him crawl to me and get up the covers. _And he wonders why I treat him like a child…_ I think, tucking him into bed. He looks at me with a slightly confused look, "Aren't you going to lie down too?"

I smile down at him, touching his cheek softly, "Sure, aru." I can see his eyes widen in surprise as I study his face. His cheeks dusted with a light pink colour.

_I wonder when I started to be so…protective of this man…? _


	4. Chapter 4

The room is silent as we lie in bed. I lay on my side, watching the moonlight is coming through the window. It's slightly open so I can feel the night air on my face. Russia is fast asleep beside me, lying on his stomach. I watch his back rise and fall gently, he looks so peaceful… The moon aluminates his face, his light silver hair and creamy white skin seems to shine in the dim lighting. He's beautiful, so beautiful…

When I brush a strand of hair out of his face, he begins to stir from his sleep. He shifts to his side, still facing me. I quickly jerk my hand away from him when I hear something…whimper? I look down at Russia and see him shaking. His hands shake violently, gripping onto the bed sheet. Is it…a nightmare?

"N-Nyet…syestra…!" he calls out, shifting in his sleep. He looks scared, it must be a nightmare. I try to soothe him, petting his head.

"Ssshhh. It's just a dream aru." I whisper gently to him. "You'll be-"

"Don't leave me…sister."

I freeze, looking down at him. '_Don't leave me?' He's dreaming about his sisters…leaving him…? _

I wrap my arms around him, his head resting on my chest. "Ssshhh. It's okay, I'm here."

"Don't leave… Please…don't leave…" he whimpers.

"I won't leave you aru." I coo, tightening my hold, stroking his hair, "I'll stay right here with you..."

"Don't leave…" he mumbles, cuddling into my arms.

I smile softly, kissing his forehead, "Of course. There's nowhere I'd rather be aru…"


	5. Chapter 5

*China's POV*

The morning light shines through the curtains, slightly blinding me. The window lets the crispy air, drifting into the room. Still, I am not cold. My source of warmth is cuddled in my arms, against my chest; Russia. The room is silent, only the sound of the birds outside and our calm breathing echoing through the room. Looking down at the sleeping nation in my arms makes a small smile appear on my lips.

_He looks so…peaceful…_

Gently reaching a hand up, I brush a few hairs out of his face. He stirs slightly, making a funny face that I can't help but giggle at.

"Russia aru…"

I watch his eyes lightly flutter open. He blinks a few times, clearing his vision before lifting his head up, looking up at me. I see his cheeks turning a beautiful dark red colour, realization finally setting in about our positions.

'_It suits him…' _I think briefly.

"Good morning, Russia…" I raise my hand to his hair, petting him gently, "Did you sleep well aru?"

The silver haired nation swallows nervously, "D-Da…I did…"

"Good…" I smile at him for a moment before getting up, walking to the window.

'_Liar, you had a nightmare…' _I think, grabbing the window handle and closing it softly. I feel anger building inside as my grip the handle tightens, making my knuckles white, _'Why won't you tell me the truth? Do you not trust me…?'_

"China?" a voice sounds behind me. I turn around to see Russia, sitting up in bed, looking slightly worried, "Is something wrong?"

'_Yes, you're hurting and you're not telling me the truth…'_

I give a fake smile, "No, it's nothing aru."

Russia frowns slightly, "…Are you sure?"

I can feel my smile fading, "Yes, certain."

'_No, I'm not…'_

He stares at me, studying my face; watching as my mask of fake happiness just peels away.

"…I don't think you're telling me the truth." He replies.

I scoff, "Yeah, I could say the same thing for you aru…" I whisper sarcastically.

Russia raises his eyebrows, looking confused, "What?"

"I said 'I could say the same thing for you aru'." I reply bluntly.

"Me? What have I done?"

"Everything but tell me the truth, Russia!" I spit angrily.

The sudden tone in my voice seems to startle him a bit. I feel guilt slowly pooling in my gut but I stand my ground.

'_If I back down now, he might never tell me aru…!'_

He blinks, taking in the words I said. The room stays silent for what seems like forever before he decides to speak.

He turns his head away, "…What _'truth'_ haven't I told you, China?"

"What is wrong aru?"

I see his eyes widen slightly as he turns back to me, "…What?"

I sit down on the bed next to him, cupping his face softly, "What is wrong aru?"

*Russia's POV*

I feel completely frozen, sitting here under his gaze. Beautiful golden brown orbs shimmering with concern and another emotion I can't quite place, seem to stare effortlessly through me. My breath is hesitated, my lungs scream at me for more air.

'_Why is he…like this all of a sudden? I don't understand…'_

I turn away, trying to avoid that confusing gaze, "Wh…What are you talking about, China? Nothing is wrong, I'm fine."

China exhaled, "Now who's not telling the truth aru…?"

He grabs my chin and turns my head back to him, making me look him straight in the eye. Normally I would turn away again but there was something in his eyes that told me not to. So I listen to it, I listen and stay there helplessly in his grasp.

"I am not stupid, Russia. Nor am I the one to let things be aru." He begins sternly, "I know that something is wrong." I see the seriousness melt, turning a sad smile, "Now why don't you tell me…okay aru?"

The sad look and the desperation in his voice send pain shooting through my chest; I turn away, "Why do you care…?"

He lowers his eyes a bit, "…Because I care about you aru…"

My heart stops, all time just seems to freeze in that moment.

China looks up again, "Because I care about you, Russia!" his voice stronger and clear, eyes brighter than ever. He smiles, "Can't you see that aru…?"

I stay silent; my eyes wide and staring back at him in awed shock.

The room fills with silence once again, letting China's words sink in.

I feel like I should speak but my words seem to get caught in my throat.

The brunette looks down, "…Do you not trust me aru?"

"I…I…"

'_Why won't they the words come out?'_

"Ah…I knew it."

'_No, that's not it at all!' _

I shake my head frantically, "That's not…I-!"

'_Why? Why can't I just say it?!' _

"Even if you can't trust me, even so…" he whispers, looking up at me again. Those piercing brown eyes staring into mine, "I want you to let me help you!"

My body froze again, only his words ringing through my mind.

"…Help…me?" I repeat softly.

"Yes." He nods, taking my hand in his, "I want to help you, Russia. I want you to come to trust me aru. I want you to know that…you are not alone aru."

Taken aback by his comment, my grip on his hand loosens; only to make his tighten more as if for reassurance.

"…That's been the problem, hasn't it? You've been lonely aru…?" he asks.

I turn my gaze elsewhere, "…Yes, it has…"

"Russia aru…" I feel his fingers turn my face back to him, "Life as a nation is a long, dreadful war-filled path, one that all must live aru. You're been through things other nations have not. I cannot pretend that I know what you are going through because I don't aru. But I promise you, I'll be there aru." A beautiful smile blossoms on his face, "As long as I can help it, I will be right by your side aru…"

*China's POV*

He doesn't say anything, he just stares. I see tears gather and fall from his beautiful amethyst eyes. He raises his hand to his face, feeling the tears on his cheek. He seems to not know he is crying because the look on his face is taken aback when he felt his tear-stained cheeks.

I raise my hand to wipe away his tears. He leans into my touch, letting out a small whimper.

"…Promise?" he asks me softly.

"Of course," I whisper back, bring his face down to mine; planting a small kiss on his eyelid, "I'll stay right by your side aru…"

I feel his strong arms wrap around my waist, hiding his face in my chest, "…Thank you."

I smile, running my fingers through his snowy silver hair conformingly. We lean back on the bed, settling in the soft bedspread. His head stays resting on my chest, cradling in my arms.

"…I love you, Yao." I hear him mutter through my shirt. I look down at him, face still buried but the tips of his ears turn pink.

I smile at this, "I love you too, Ivan. For as long as I live aru…"


End file.
